It Never Just Rains
by carefreezoe
Summary: Thought I'd bridge the gap between seasons by writing some of my favourite episodes. I loved season 4 ep 7 "We're Done" and here is my take on it. I pretty much ship everyone with everyone on this show, so anything could happen.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N - So I'm struggling with my first ever season finale of Suits. After binge watching the first 4 and half seasons in a couple of weeks, it was difficult to then go to watching weekly and now to have to wait until the summer. I have no idea why I'd never watched before but just put it down to the show not being advertised as much over here in the UK. Now I'm pretty addicted and thought I'd bridge the gap between seasons by writing some of my favourite episodes. I loved season 4 ep 7 "We're Done" and here is my take on it. Not sure where this is going currently. I pretty much ship everyone with everyone on this show, so anything could happen. Disclaimer- I wish I owned suits but unfortunately I have to give a huge thanks and credit to Aaron Korsh and anyone else involved in the creation of these masterpieces.**

 ** _It Never Just Rains.._**

Soundtrack:

Hayden Calnin- For my help

The Airborne Toxic Event- Changing

 _"Well I'm drowning_

 _In my clothing_

 _And I'm hoping_

 _You're worth knowing_

 _Do you need my help?"_

 _\- Hayden Calnin - For My Help_

Mike walked with his head down, into his office, trying to keep a low profile. He felt so disheartened. His first case as an investment banker and he'd blown it.

Of course, how could he have expected to beat Harvey Specter. It would have been much harsher had they all just played fair. But Mike knew he shouldn't have expected less. After all, it was his fault that Forstman was involved anyway. If it wasn't for that man, things would have gone a lot smoother. And how could he offer him a job? Things just weren't adding up.

At least he knew how the game was played now. Plus, he wouldn't have to see Logan or be involved in business with him again. How he had managed not to destroy that man by now: Mike was surprised by his own will power.

Reeling in his loss, he was surrounded by thought but this was broken by the sound of his secretary's worried voice.

"Mike, Mike! Sidwell wants to see you."

Suddenly his whole world came crashing down.

Mike sighed, "Don't tell me he-"

"Knows." Amy finished off his sentence for him.

Could this week get any worse? Mike could feel the bile of disappointment in the back of his throat. How could he possibly get past this one? He knew deep down that this was the end.

"Shit." It was the only response he could think of. He knew the only way to get through this was to go have a really uncomfortable conversation. And there was no reason to think it through before hand. Damn Forstman.

He made the walk over to Sidwell's office trying not to overthink things. Pushing his door open, there was no reason to announce his presence. Sidwell would know it was him at this late hour so he just let the door fall behind him.

"You little piece of shit." Sidwell didn't even look at him and he knew that it wasn't through fear, but disgust. For the first time in his life, Mike felt truly horrified by his actions. He would have never made any kind of deal to sell Harvey out like that.

Still, he felt he should argue his case. "Johnathon, let me explain-"

"There is nothing to explain." Sidwell was seething. "You sold me out the second you connected with Forstman."

"No, I.. I thought I could get out of it alright. But then you took Forstman's money and I.."

"Oh, your going to put that on me." That was the wrong thing to say. What was he thinking? He couldn't blame Sidwell for this mess. "I took his money because I thought we were partners. I didn't know you would stab me in the goddamn back."

Mike could feel the resentment radiating of Sidwell.

"Stab you in the back? If I didn't make this deal happen, you were going to fire me." Mike had to argue his case. He couldn't give up at the first hurdle.

"I don't give a shit what I said. I took a chance on you. You spat in my face."

"Jonathon, I-"

"You stood right there, selling me on Forstman to stop me from finding out you betrayed me."

"No, I did that to stop me from having to betray you. Jonathan he still owes us money, alright? We can still go after him."

"There isn't enough money in the world for me to ever trust you again."

"Listen to me-"

"No, YOU LISTEN TO ME." Sidwell was shouting now and Mike knew it was beyond his control. He'd already made up his mind. "There is no goddamn 'we'. You're fired."

It hit Mike like someone had burned a hole through him. He couldn't believe it. "Johnathon, w-we can still talk to Forestman alright?.."

"You think I didn't try that? Who the hell do you think told me that you sold me out in the first place?" Wow, now Mike was annoyed. How could he have allowed himself to be sold out by that rat?

"Here." Sidwell was pushing the glass trophy towards him. "Put this on your mantel, remember me every time you goddamn look at it." Mike felt ashamed and humiliated. How could he be treated like this? Not only had he lost the deal, he'd lost his job. Everything was over. He slowly turned and walked out of his former boss' office. There was no point saying another word.

Rachel was in her office, lacklusterly tidying things up before heading home for the night when she felt her phone vibrate. Thinking it was Mike, she unlocked it.

It was from Amy- 'Just to prewarn you, Mike got fired.'

Fuck.

How could this possibly happen? This was a huge blow. Mike would be devastated.

She felt the guilt and resentment at the situation. She had to be there to support Mike but couldn't be there for him properly when she was still hiding this big secret from him. As her thoughts were running through possible solutions, she heard the door to her office open. Donna.

"Hey! Did you hear the good news?" The redhead had a hint of smugness in her tone.

"There is no good news." Rachel felt herself sigh as Donna's face dropped. "Logan won. Which means he's not going anywhere."

Donna took a deep breath and posed herself. She shut Rachel's door, trying to keep some degree of secrecy to this conversation. "You want to tell Mike what happened."

It wasn't a question. Donna could read people with great certainty.

"I am going to tell Mike what happened." Rachel had made up her mind.

"No, you're not. Harvey said he would drop Logan when this is over and he will." Donna was trying to be convincing.

"And there is no way that he's dropping Logan if Mike can't even be a client."

"What are you talking about?" Donna had slightly lost track of the legal technicalities of the situation. Rachel often forgot that she didn't know everything about everything.

"I just got a text from Amy. Donna... Mike got fired."

Donna took a moment. "Now you really can't tell him!"

"You said I shouldn't go behind his back but not telling him is going behind his back.-"

"Even if you were going to tell him, this is the absolute worst time."

Rachel knew Donna was right but she was fed up with this guilt. "If not now then when? Just wait till he recovers and then smack him down again?" She knew she had a point.

"How about not smacking him down at all?" How did Donna always have a response to everything? But this was totally irrational.

"That would be great. But I already did. When I betrayed him and I.."

"Rachel, if you do this I am telling you it will bore a hole in his brain and you will be risking your whole life with Mike." And that was the problem.

"I am risking it if I don't."

"Rachel-"

"Donna. Mike kept a secret from me that almost ripped us apart before we even got started. And he found the courage to trust me with it. So I need to find the courage to trust him with this." Rachel had her decision. She was just terrified of it.

Mike was at a total loss. He was in his office for the last time, still in total disbelief of what was happening. He wasn't just a fraud anymore, now he was also a failure. He began packing his personal belongings into a box.

First all he felt was sadness. Every time he took a step forward, something pushed him right back again. He felt totally helpless.

His throat was tight as he yanked of his tie, almost symbolically, and placed it on top of the box. He wanted to be a child again, when everything felt right. When his Parents and Grandma were still around. He just wanted to go home and hide from the world.

He placed the glass trophy in the centre of the desk. How could he possibly get past this?

Then he felt anger. Why weren't things easy? He'd lost everything. His Parents, Grandma, Best Friend, Education and now his one chance at legitimate success.

He had to go home and face Rachel. But what would she think of him once she found out the truth? He was disgusted with himself so there was no telling how she would react to him.

As Mike stepped in the elevator, he was struggling to breath properly. Would she still love him? The box dropped to the ground.

He was drowning.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N - Thank you for the interest so far in this. Any comment or criticism is very much welcomed and fills me with encouragement. I've been reading a lot of the latest suits fanfictions to help recover from that season finale and you're all such wonderful writers. I will try to keep up.**

 **Disclaimer- I unfortunately don't own any part of suits.**

Mike had no idea how he had got home until he got to the door of his apartment with Rachel. He was not thinking straight and had gone into some sort of autopilot as his body carried itself, his mind still on overdrive.

He felt the craving for drugs, to switch his mind off for a few days. After all, what did it matter now? He had no reason to keep his life together.

He walked into the apartment, carrying the box with all his life's worth. He placed it on the coffee table and took a moment before heading to the kitchen to face Rachel. She was already waiting for him, drink in hand.

"I heard."

"How?"

"Amy." The word hit Mike harshly. What would happen to her now he no longer had a job? He didn't even bring himself to say goodbye to her, let alone sorry.

"Shit. I didn't even think about what would happen to her."

"Mike you don't need to think about anyone except for you right now."

Mike laughed at the stupidity of the situation. "I don't want to think about me. All I've done is let everyone down. Including you."

He pushed past Rachel, taking a gulp of the drink she passed him. This was going to be a long night.

"You have not let me down." She said it so matter-of-fact. How did he deserve her?

"You don't even know what I've done." There was no point hiding it anymore.

"Whatever it is, it can't be as bad as-" Rachel was grasping at words, trying to sympathise with Mike. He had no idea what she'd done. She needed to tell him so that they could move on.

"As I think? Rachel I lost my job. I lost the takeover. I lost Walter Gillis his company. I cut a deal to sell out the man who gave me a chance in the first place. And to top it all off, the guy who made me do that called me his guy and offered me a job. So what does that make me?" Mike was reeling in his anger at himself. He was despised by his own actions. No longer was he a good guy.

Rachel knew that this was not the right moment. Mike was broken and she really needed to put him back together. If she told him now, it would push him over the edge and totally destroy him. She couldn't bring herself to do it. "It makes you a human being."

She could see the tears in his eyes and approached carefully, embracing him in a hug and allowing him to lean into her, bearing as much of the weight on his shoulders as she could.

Mike gave up on his rant at once. This was what he needed right now. Rachel was what he needed in life. Everything else would work out fine so long as he didn't lose her. He found comfort in running his fingers through her soft brown curls. He'd lost everything but still was lucky enough to have her.

"I don't know what to do," he muttered softly. Never was he so vulnerable and lost than in that moment, which in Mike's case was saying a lot.

"I don't either." Rachel's guilt was eating up at her insides but there was no way she could tell Mike now. "But we don't have to do anything tonight."

Mike barely slept all night. Tossing and turning, he couldn't turn his thoughts down. He always had been a worrier. Fortunately, Rachel also was unable to sleep. He saw the fretting lines on her forehead and felt awful that she was so worried about him.

They had shared a peaceful night together with very few words. Ordered a pizza, had a few drinks to calm themselves down once the reality had settled in and even watched his favourite childhood film 'the lion king' before taking a shower.

But once in bed, he couldn't hide or shelter from the demonic thoughts. At around 3am, he walked into the bathroom, still wide awake. He climbed into the shower in an attempt to relax his tense body. What was he going to do with his life now?

When he returned to the bedroom, Rachel was finally asleep, looking slightly more peaceful. He sat for a few moments, observing her calm state. He'd do anything to protect her and hated the fact that he was the one causing her to worry and be upset. Placing a light kiss on her head and, being careful not to wake her, he climbed into bed. He stuck some earphones in and finally drifted into a disrupted sleep.

He awoke in a panic. Reaching to the other side of the bed, Mike was disappointed to find cold bedsheets. Rachel would be off to work by now of course. He couldn't leave it to her to pay bills when she had law school and collapsed from exhaustion not so long ago. She was still under strict orders to take it easy.

No, he would have to go out to find a job, even though all he wanted was to sit and wallow in despair. Maybe for the time being he could pick back up his bike messenger job. Phil had always been good to him and Mike had always managed to get the job done well, so it was a possibility there would be a position for him available. Of course, that wouldn't last long term. This apartment was considerably more costly than his previous one.

But he wouldn't get anywhere whilst still laid in bed. So Mike forced himself up, made some breakfast and got changed.

He looked at the suits in the wardrobe and thought for a second of Harvey. He was sure the man would be able to pull some tricks with Jessica and get him back on board at Pearson Specter. But Mike had accepted that he now needed a fresh start. He couldn't go back to being a fraud. That constant threat that he was going to be found out. It wasn't his own freedom he was worried about, he'd be putting all those that were practically family to him in danger to. No, he would have to leave his partnership with Harvey out of this. What was it Donna had called them once? Marvey? Those days were firmly stuck in the past.

He put on a fresh pair of jeans and a plain t-shirt instead and headed out into the brisk New York morning, feeling somewhat more at peace now.

It was several hours later that Mike found himself aimlessly strolling the streets. He'd been to a number of places and had had no luck. Phil was full to the brim and wasn't able to offer him any temporary placement but had wished him luck. He had no idea where to go next.

Mike found himself heading towards a much busier area, in the exact direction of the skyscrapers where Pearson Specter was located. He wanted to meet Rachel for lunch but was torn as didn't want to bump into Harvey at all or anyone else that he previously worked with for that matter. He needed inspiration though. In the distance, the coffee cart guy was slyly conducting business. How was it he could be so successful when Mike was here struggling to get a fast food job? Mike was tempted to call it a day and head home despite the fact it was barely afternoon.

Then he realised a car pulling up alongside. He groaned internally when the window rolled down to reveal Forstman.

"How's the job hunting going?" the older man asked in a condescending voice. Mike sensed his laugh.

"What do you want Forstman?" He might as well just get to the point.

"Now you don't want my money it's Forstman? Not Mr? What happened to the little shit that approached me in a coffee shop with his hands down."

"You realise that you don't deserve any respect." Mike reminded himself that this was the guy who had sold him out to Sidwell.

"I don't need your respect. I need an answer on my job offer," Forstman smirked.

Mike schooled his expression to not look confused. "I thought I was pretty clear."

"You're mouth said one thing, let's see what your eyes have to say." Forstman passed Mike a slip of paper that he didn't have to look at to know was a cheque. He reluctantly took it out of curiosity. As he did so he thought his eyes were at first deceiving. "A million dollars." He was questioning Forstman's motives. What did he have to offer worth a million dollars? "Is this a joke?"

"It's your signing bonus." Forstman was smiling ear to ear now. "Are you ready to come work for me now?"

"I thought I was an obsequious little shit?" Mike opted for humour.

Forstman chuckled, "You are. But so was I at your age, and look what happened to me."

Mike would be lying if he wasn't tempted. He currently had very few options and this was by far better than the rest. A million dollars would secure his and Rachel's future and more. He could afford her law school. She would no longer have to work such long hours. Still he thrust the cheque back through the window. "You could make it 10 million Charles, I don't want your money." He wouldn't trust this rat again.

"The offer is one. And that's where it stands. You have a day. Then if you decide not to take the offer, I will know you're not only an asshole: you're a fool." And with that he drove off leaving Mike stood stupidly on the side of the kerb. He glanced at the cheque one last time in disbelief before shoving it in his pocket and heading back towards the coffee cart guy.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N- Just a quick update. I really enjoyed writing this. Harvey and Mike have such a wonderful relationship. I hope I've got the characters right so far and you're all enjoying it, if you have any comments, feel free to share. :)**

Donna was sat at her cubicle. She'd barely been able to concentrate on her work all day, her mind kept drifting to Mike and Rachel. Why had Mike got fired? She hadn't managed to get much out of the guilt ridden brunette this morning before Rachel had rushed off to law school.

She turned to glance at Harvey. He was sat at the desk with a bored and indifferent expression on his face. Of course Mike wouldn't tell him. He'd be too embarrassed.

But Donna knew Mike. He'd be worried sick over the situation and there was no way he'd accept her turning up at his door. Nope, it would have to be someone he admired and looked up to. She stood up and headed into Harvey's office. It was time to play matchmaker.

Harvey was at his desk nursing an oncoming migraine. After all the drama had passed from the last few weeks with the takeover battle against Mike, he had had a relatively relaxed few days. A few troubled clients that he had sorted and the odd meeting with colleagues (mainly Jessica) but nothing all that stimulating. And he didn't like it. The reason Harvey loved his job was because it was always hectic and busy and no one day was the same. He was typing up some notes on research and sensed rather than heard another presence in the room.

"Hey! So I just wanted to run through the schedule for the rest of the week." Donna was wearing a black sleek dress which made her fiery hair stand out magnificently in the spring New York sunshine beaming through the windows. She planted herself abruptly in the seat opposite of Harvey.

"Go ahead." Harvey continued typing, sensing there was a greater objective here and wanting Donna to get to the point. Although he was a having a more relaxed week, he still had a lot of work to keep on top of.

"You've got Ellis at 4 o'clock today, McKinney at 10 tomorrow, Chamberlain at 2 and when should I pencil you in to go see Mike?" And there it was. Harvey had been barely paying attention but now he caught Donna's eye.

"See him for what?"

"To be a friend?" She was actually being serious. Suppose he'd have to spell it out to the legal secretary.

"Donna, as far as he's concerned, I sold him out to win the takeover. I am the last person he wants to see right now." Harvey said, fed up now and returning to continue his work, giving indication to Donna that she should leave.

"And I would agree with all that, except for the fact that Mike got fired." It took a moment for Harvey to register this. Even after, he thought he'd heard it wrong. But one look at Donna and he realised this was her actual motive. He often marvelled at her knowledge of everything that was happening, most of the stuff that he blanked or put to the back of his mind. But this, how could he not know this?

"What? When?" Why hadn't Mike or Rachel told him? He would obviously go to support Mike. It was probably his fault that the kid got fired. Still, it wasn't adding up. Mike fought hard for the takeover and had shown Sidwell he had the balls to make it in investment banking. No way would Johnathon let him go after that. No, he'd have to find out what was going on. But right now, he'd keep up the facade that he didn't care. Still he made a mental note to see Mike before Rachel was home this evening.

"And I wasn't gonna tell you because you should be hearing it from him. But men are idiots and they'd rather be alone and miserable than ever run the risk of needing someone." He stared at Donna. Harvey could sense her teasing of him. Were they talking about Mike still? Or himself?

"He has Rachel.-"

"Who is the one person Mike believes will stand by him no matter what. Which makes her the one person he won't believe when she says he didn't completely fail." She had a point. Harvey knew Mike was extremely sensitive and would be beating himself up over this. No, he'd have to go see his former pup now before he did anything stupid and to put the kids mind at rest that this wasn't his fault. He turned back to the computer screen. No way would he be able to concentrate on that any further.

"How important is the meeting with Ellis?"

"He says it's urgent." This was more urgent, Harvey thought quietly to himself.

"Tell him I have to reschedule." He pulled himself out of the chair.

-SUITS-

Mike had made it home safely. Knowing his luck lately, he was expecting to have been stopped and searched and then his situation would have been even worse. Still, it came in useful having an eidetic memory. He'd taken a longer walk back than usual: one that he knew wasn't littered with cops.

Still, he was already regretting buying the weed. It was too risky and he had been clean for so long now. Plus, now that there wasn't an income coming into the family he'd have to be more careful with expenditure. One hurdle in the road and he'd given up. An addict in need of of a fix.

His Grammy would be disappointed if he didn't put more fight in than this. But he felt so lost with no idea what the future held. For as long as he could remember, Mike had wanted to be a lawyer. He had adored working at Pearson Hardman, something he had thought never possible. Now, he'd have to start again from scratch, build a new career with nothing to back him up. His past was either a lie or a failure and his future was unknown. He was just shoving the drugs in a secret stash behind the bathroom cupboard when he heard someone knocking the door. Sighing, he went to answer it, already knowing who was on the other side.

He looked through the peephole just to check and saw the familiar face of the older lawyer. Reluctantly, Mike swung the door open. It wasn't that he didn't want to see Harvey, he just felt embarrassed and knew he'd let Harvey down to. His approval was something that Mike always sought to achieve and Harvey's disappointment when he found out the truth of why Mike was fired could break him. Suddenly, Mike felt like a naughty kid in front of his parents.

He realised that he hadn't told Harvey. So it must have been- "Rachel or Donna? Who told you to check up on me?"

"You don't think I'd do that on my own?" Harvey actually sounded hurt by Mike's statement. But Mike wasn't in the mood for pitying anyone other than himself, and he was still kinda pissed at Harvey for going behind his back on the takeover.

"No, I don't."

"Well I wouldn't have. Because I didn't think you'd need it. But then I found out that you got fired." Harvey's tone was soft, if a little questioning. But the words still hit Mike in the gut. Mike shrugged it off, heading back into his apartment.

"So what? People lose their jobs every single day."

"Yeah, not people like you." Harvey shut the door cautiously behind him. He wasn't sure how to approach this, but felt very worried about his former associate. He watched Mike walk with his shoulders slightly sagged, like a puppy with his tail between his legs. The kid looked so defeated. "Why'd you get fired?"

"You mean other than the fact that I picked a fight I couldn't win?" Mike knew their was no point hiding this from his former partner. He would soon find out. Especially as Rachel had probably already told Donna.

"I don't care how it turned out. You went 15 rounds on your first shot. No way Sidwell lets you go after that." Harvey wanted answers now. He felt a protective instinct over his former protege and friend and wanted to hurt whoever had knocked the younger lads confidence so much. There was a moment of silence as Mike tried to find the right words to explain to Harvey what a dick he had been. But Harvey had a moment of realisation himself.

"It was Forstman, wasn't it." Of course it was.

Mike looked down at the floor. He could sense the older man's frustration and didn't want to look him in the eye as he told him what he had done. He had once gone behind Harvey's back and sold his boss out and Harvey had dropped him right there and then. Loyalty was something Mike knew Harvey valued above anything, even winning.

"I only got Forstman's money if I agreed to cut Sidwell out of the deal." He almost felt better for saying it. Coming to terms with what he had done was very difficult.

"And Sidwell found out."

"He didn't just find out, Forstman told him."

Harvey put his hand to his head counting to ten. He had allowed Forstman to play him once and knew how manipulative the man was. He had managed to almost save his younger brother from him and his immoral ways 11 years ago but hadn't been so lucky now. He breathed out his anger. Now was not the time. "That son of a Bitch."

"Yeah, there's more. That son of a bitch has offered me a job." Mike released what had really been on his mind.

"Mike. You. Can't. Do. It. And you know it." Harvey was quick off the mark. He could almost see the temptation in Mike's eyes and wondered how much that rat had offered him. There was no way Harvey could let Mike take that job. It would be anything but good for him.

"What choice do I have? I was an investment banker for 10 minutes and I blew the only deal I'm ever going to get near."

"Well that sounds exactly like the kind of bullshit Forstman tells people to wrap them around his finger." They were both sat opposite each other now. Mike had stopped pacing but still looked overly stressed, like he was prepared to just runaway at any second.

"Doesn't mean it's not true."

"Yes it does, I could get you 5 interviews before tomorrow." Harvey's voice was raised slightly now. He was pissed at Forstman and his worry for Mike was turning into anger at his defeatist attitude.

"And how are you going to do that?"

"By making 5 goddamn phone calls."

"And what are you going to say when they answer. Are you going to tell them I was a Harvard educated lawyer working for you? Because if you do that, I might as well go back to being a fraud." Even though Harvey hated his sarcastic way of saying it, the younger man had a point. Harvey had no idea what he was going through right now. His job, though risky, had always been relatively secure. When at the DAs office, he always had Jessica's offer to back him up. He was struggling to make the younger version of himself feel better. Mike had his head in his hands, sighing.

"What if I can get Jessica to take you back?" It was a shot in the dark and Harvey knew he didn't sound very convincing. Jessica had never been happier than when he told her Mike was leaving. Even though she respected the kid and even admired him a little, Harvey knew how much it jeopardised the firm having a fraud working there. And the firm was Jessica's life.

Mike laughed with more than a hint of sarcasm. "What if you can bring my parents back to life, because both of those things have about the same chance of happening."

"Mike, I'm trying to help you." Harvey was getting slightly agitated by the younger man's attitude here.

"And I appreciate that Harvey. But I only have 2 references here: you- who has to lie for me and Johnathon - who wants to kill me."

"Mike-"

"Harvey! That's enough. As much as you want to help me, you just don't know what it's like to have been a fraud and to have to start all over." Mike was tired of this conversation but Harvey was shaking his head in denial. His deep brown eyes were lit up with recognition.

"I don't. But I know of a man who does."


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N - I originally intended to do the Rachel reveal scene in this chapter, but got a little carried away and wanted to make sure I did it properly. Instead, there are a lot of references to s1ep10- 'the shelf life' here which is a brilliant episode if anyone is rewatching. As always any comments are very welcome. I'll do my best to continue but I'm starting back at college tomorrow so want you to be aware that it may be less frequent but I am enjoying writing and hope you're all enjoying reading.**

 **Disclaimer- I want to again emphasise that I don't own most of this material and there are some great people working on this show that deserve all the credit.**

 **PS. Just as a guide to stop you getting lost in this chapter, everything written in** _ **italics**_ **is a scene from S1ep10**

They sat in Mike's living room and Harvey managed to pull some strings in order to get Stan's number. As he was on the phone, Mike thought back to that case not long after he had become Harvey's associate. It seemed like an eternity ago.

" _I've been here for 9 years. My work has been nothing but great. I mean why would this even matter now?-" Stan was breaking down in front of Harvey and Mike wished more than ever that Harvey had let him sit this one out. It was way too close to home for him._

" _You've been committing fraud your entire career. The liability it presents-" Harvey was in full lawyer mode but Mike caught his eye for a split second and saw a hint of something, maybe regret? Or sympathy._

" _No, I don't accept this." He could sense Stan's complete hopelessness and couldn't help but think about the possibility of this happening to him in the near future. This job was his entire life now, he had nothing else. And it could all be taken away from him in a split second._

Harvey broke Mike out of his daydream to inform him that he had been successful and Ray would be able to drop him off at the meeting place. He felt somewhat lighter now. He could finally talk to someone who would understand how lost he now felt.

As they got into the car, Harvey looked over at his forlorn associate. Mike had been quiet ever since their encounter earlier when he had revealed why he had been fired. In fact, he had barely looked at the older man. "Mike." He managed to get his attention. "Are you sure you're ok?" Harvey knew it was a stupid question but Mike seemed to understand what he was asking.

"Yeah, I guess I'm just feeling a little lost. But we all have our health so.." He started laughing but soon stopped and Harvey's heart almost snapped as he heard Mike's voice break, "I don't know what to do now Harvey."

Harvey considered pulling him into a hug but knew Mike would be feeling embarrassed anyway so resorted to giving the kid a pat on the back. "It'll be fine Mike, we'll sort something out. I'll do everything I can for you. I don't do losing." Mike straightened up a bit at his statement and seemed to perk up but didn't look entirely convinced. Harvey just wished there was something he could do, he'd always carried the weight of other people's problems on his own shoulders, done his best to share the burden. But he was aware that Mike would have to fight most of this himself.

-SUITS-

As he walked through central park, Mike found himself people watching. It was such a wonderful spring day and the path was relatively busy. He observed a young girl, walking her dog and noted that she seemed so happy and carefree. He found himself resenting her but knew how ridiculous that was. What had she ever done to him? He just wanted to go back to a more simpler time.

In the distance, he saw the man he was looking for, sat on a bench doing the same thing as him. Stan looked happy and at peace compared to the last time Mike had seen him.

" _Well... What am I supposed to do now?" Stan had said as they exited the conference room. He'd completely lost the smug grin he'd had when they'd been in the conference room getting Tori to come clean. It had been replaced by the helpless facial expression that he'd worn when Mike and Harvey had informed him that he was being let go. Mike had never seen an older man look more like a tiny child._

" _Well we just got you more than your severance package. I suggest you use it to tie yourself over until you figure something out." Mike wasn't sure if he was impressed or disgusted by Harvey's lack of emotive response. That was literally the worst advice ever and Mike knew it was just the older man's way out of the conversation. The case was over and they'd won in more ways than one. But they would still just have to dump Stan and leave him to his own devices. It wasn't fair._

 _Harvey stuck his hand out and Stan took it with fragility. Harvey briefly looked at Mike before heading back towards his office. Mike knew he was being told to meet him when he was done. He took a deep breath to calm his nerves and looked towards Stan. He was covering his mouth now and looked like he was about to be sick._

" _Stan, your best asset is your mind. They can't take that from you."_

" _One little mistake…" It was like Stan wasn't even listening to him. He was laughing but Mike knew he found nothing funny about the situation._

" _You could go back to school, become legitimate?" Mike was doing his best to help the man but could only just grasp at the sadness he must be feeling. Mike wished there was something he could do._

" _Start over." Stan took a moment, contemplating the thought and Mike left it in silence. There was nothing else he could say anyway. He was surprised to see Stan start to turn away from him and let the older man leave. But it shook something up inside him when he heard the older man mutter, "I never should have done it."_

 _Was he doing the right thing here? Should he just leave now and become legitimate instead of wasting years of his life?_

In present day, Mike had approached Stan at the bench. He looked up at Mike with a degree of respect and admiration on his face and it filled Mike with a warmth. "Well, well. If it isn't employee number 761053."

Mike laughed at his greeting. It seemed appropriate. "You still remember that?"

"I lied on my resumè. I never lied about having a head for numbers." He gestured for Mike to sit at the bench. The younger man did.

"I never said how sorry I was for what happened to you."

"You don't need to be sorry Mike." Mike felt some of the guilt inside him ease. He hadn't really done anything for the man. Stan turned to face him. "In fact, I should be thanking you."

"What?" Mike laughed. This wasn't what he had expected.

"Do you know what I do now? Statistical analysis for fantasy baseball." Stan laughed and Mike joined him. It was the first time his mouth had smiled voluntarily in a long time and he felt so much more at ease now. He knew this had been the right decision.

"That's awesome!" Mike said, for lack of a better word. He honestly was happy to see that Stan had his life together now and had picked himself back up. Finally, Mike was starting to feel some hope for the future.

"In my old, _better_ job, I sat in my office, crunching numbers. Made a lot more money but barely knew the name of one person on my floor. Now my best friends are the people I work with." Stan's face lit up with the enthusiasm of someone who was content. Mike wished the same for himself in the future.

Stan cleared his throat though. "So why'd you call me?"

And the conversation turned more serious. Mike struggled for the correct way to phrase this. "When I last saw you, you had no idea what you were going to do with the rest of your life." He looked at Stan with admiration himself now. He realised now that all he wanted was happiness. No more lies. He wanted something that he'd legitimately worked towards himself. "I mean, you had to start all over-"

"And you want to know how." Mike neither confirmed nor denied this, but Stan wasn't stupid and could see it in his eager expression.

"You start by starting."

Mike was kinda shocked by this statement. "What does that mean?"

"It means for 6 months I threw myself a giant pity party. Wondered how the hell I was going to get out of the mess I was in." This startled Mike. He realised that it was exactly what he had done since Jonathon had uttered the words 'you're fired' to him. He hadn't really done anything to help himself. He hadn't 'started' as Stan put it.

"And then one day I said enough is enough. And instead of asking questions, I started looking for answers." Mike couldn't help thinking that this guy would make a half decent philosopher if he wouldn't be wasting his talent with numbers.

"And you found fantasy baseball?" He regretted the sense of sarcasm in his question but Stan overlooked him.

"No. I found out that how much money a person makes is not the most important thing in the world; Who you spend it with everyday is." Mike bit his lip. Of course, he'd been doing this all wrong so far. Yeah, he'd lost his job. Like he said to Harvey, that happens to people every single day. What mattered was that despite his family being gone, he still had an amazing support network. People who would do anything for him.

He thought of Harvey's words in the car. 'I'll do everything I can for you.' He'd come as soon as he found out that Mike had been fired. And Mike knew who had set that up. Donna. He'd always had a degree of respect for the redhead. He admired her way of always knowing what to do to help a person out.

And of course, Rachel. They'd been through so much together, they could easily get through this. What was another bump in the road? He had her no matter what. And that was all that really mattered.

He felt a sense of urgency to go do something, to go see them. "Thanks Stan. I really appreciate it." He patted the older man on the shoulder. He really did have a lot to thank him for.

But Stan didn't seem to appreciate his hasty exit. "Woah, why is it you need to start all over?"

Mike knew he didn't have time to get into this now. It was a bad idea to tell Stan about his fraudulent business now. Just as he was deciding to get his life together. But he owed the older man an explanation.

"It's a long story. Another time perhaps?" Stan smiled at him and seemed content with that.

As Mike walked back through the park away from Stan, he genuinely felt much happier. Stan had made him realise that he was overreacting about all this. He'd lost his job and had nothing to work towards but a fresh start would do him good. He had Rachel and everyone else who was important in his life to support him through it now. He could finally start working towards a legitimate career. In what, who knew?

It was such a beautiful day and he felt his mind drift again.

 _Mike let Stan leave. There was nothing else he could do for the poor man. He went to his cubicle and engrossed himself in work, writing up briefs for the case and tying up some loose ends for Harvey. But he couldn't concentrate properly. What was he doing with his life? This was his ultimate dream but it was available to him at a huge price._

 _Mike knew that if he was caught, this would all be over and he'd have nothing to fall back on. He'd have no income to keep up his Grammy's increasing medical bills._

 _It was late by the time he walked back over to Harvey's office. Donna wasn't around, Harvey must have let her go, so Mike just pushed through the door._

" _Well, you'll be happy to know that Stan has no idea what to do with the rest of his life."_

" _That doesn't make me happy."_

" _What if I tell you I have no idea what I'm doing with mine." Mike was stood looking out over the beautiful view of his city. He had been born and raised here and had hardly ventured outside of it since birth. He revelled in the energy that it presented. Even at this late hour of night, it was still alive. He could hear sirens and the faint buzz of traffic and observed the many lights of the skyscrapers beginning to dwindle. It filled him with hope. This was the land of opportunity. He could make it somewhere else, surely._

" _What the hell are we going to do when I get caught, Harvey?" It was something that had been bugging him throughout this case. Mike was aware that what they were doing was serious. Practicing law without a licence was a severe criminal offence. He could be in much more trouble than Stan had been._

" _You're not gonna get caught-"_

" _That's your answer?" He couldn't believe that Harvey was being so laid back about this. He needed truthful answers from the older man._

" _What else is there?" Harvey turned towards Mike, his jaw tight. He knew this conversation was coming. Harvey was being very blunt. He had hired Mike on the premise that he was way better than those Harvard douches and had been aware of the risk they were taking but thought Mike had been like him and was prepared to do anything to live this life._

 _Mike had been facing the window and Harvey observed his tense state. He suddenly turned, and marched towards Harvey "Why?"_

 _Harvey was genuinely shocked. He wasn't sure what the boy was asking and wished they could get this out of the way so that Mike could make his decision and move on. "What?"_

" _Hire me. Why would you do that to me?" Mike tried to relax but couldn't. He needed to make a decision now. Was it worth continue this? He'd never been a quitter but was this job really worth it._

" _You mean for you." Harvey was slightly hurt by Mike's statement. He realised the position was stressful but he'd thought Mike was grateful for the opportunity. It was a decision they had both made together in that room with the interview that was never supposed to happen._

" _No, I don't. You made it perfectly clear that you only do things for yourself, so why?" Mike's tone was more gruff than usual. He was being deadly serious and Harvey could see the dilemma in his eyes. They were both looking directly at each other and the tension was formidable. As much as Harvey hated to admit it, he liked working with the kid. He knew it was tough at first, especially if you hadn't even been to law school but Mike had managed better than most. He'd made some mistakes and his punctuality was beyond poor but he had also proven to be a useful asset._

 _Of course, they'd also started to develop a degree of friendship with movie quotes and lighthearted banter. Harvey was actually beginning to trust Mike and felt a protective instinct over what he referred to as the younger version of himself. He didn't want to have to replace Mike. He'd realised lately that working alone wasn't as good as he'd thought and couldn't now imagine working with anyone other than Mike after almost 9 months. But still, he realised this was a decision Mike would have to make for himself. He'd already made his own choice, it was all down to the kid now._

 _Harvey chuckled at the statement. "You mean the reason why I became a lawyer, or your friend dealt drugs, or you used to cheat?"_

" _I cheated because I needed to-"_

" _You couldn't make money any other way? Bullshit." Mike was taken aback but Harvey's harsher tone. He was only asking for an explanation._

 _And Harvey was about to give it to him. He just wished the younger lawyer was like him, prepared for a more exciting life and finding the prospect of a challenge thrilling. Otherwise he wasn't up for this job anyway."Life is this." Harvey indicated with his hand level with the table. He then raised it a few feet. "I like this."_

Children running in front him, screaming interrupted Mike from his vivid memories. It had been a much different time back then. He had matured so much over the past 4 years.

One thing he was sure off, he was glad he hadn't given up that night or tapped out as Harvey had called it. If he hadn't been working at Pearson and Hardman, he wouldn't be half the person he was today. And he probably wouldn't have built such a wonderful relationship with Rachel. Speaking of which, he had to make it back home.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N - Just a brief update to tie it over until the reveal scene. Lots of Harvey in here which is always a good thing!**

Harvey had dropped Mike off an hour ago, hoping that he would find some peace in seeing Stan's success. However, he couldn't just leave it at that. His former associate had been so down and broken and Harvey had meant what he said. I'll do everything I can for you.

Besides he wasn't going to allow Forstman to take another victim. Not on his watch.

That's how he found himself strolling into the offices of Jonathan Sidwell's company, feigning a look of confidence. He hadn't just set up a meeting for Mike but had also rung (was it Amy?) the kids former secretary and set himself an impossible task too. Harvey was trying to convince himself he wasn't just running at a brick wall.

It had taken him a long time to get over Mike's betrayal of himself back when Jessica had threatened them and the kid had given up his plan of attack which had cost himself a lot more than just named partner. Even though he knew it wasn't entirely the kids fault, he'd always been angry when it came down to distrust and disloyalty. He supposed he should blame his Mother for that.

But Mike hadn't deserved this. He had again been put in an impossible situation and had done all he could to get out. What had Harvey taught him? When a gun is pointed at your head there are 147 different ways out. And Mike had exhausted them all. He just had to get Sidwell to believe it.

He was in the offices now, surrounded by glass walls and the buzz of people trying to make deals and meet deadlines. He could imagine Mike here, number crunching and putting that amazing brain of his to use, making tonnes of money. Of course, Mike would always be better suited sat on the leather sofa in his office, discussing cases and going through briefs. But he had made it clear that wasn't exactly what he wanted. And as much as his chances of getting Sidwell's approval were low, he knew his chances of convincing Jessica to take Mike back were at rock-bottom.

He sucked it up. Harvey had to try for the kid and so with that motivation, he marched into Sidwell's office.

"The answer is no." Great start, thanks Jonathon.

"You don't even know what I'm here for." Harvey laughed trying to keep things relaxed for the time being. He thought informality was the best approach currently.

"I know what you're not here for, to tell me that after a night of soul searching, you've decided to give me full control over Gillis industries." Johnathon was barely looking at him, feigning disinterest. But Harvey knew how to get his attention.

"You're right, I'm not. But I am here to give you full control of this." Harvey handed him a folder and Johnathon reluctantly took it, his facial expression one not quite of surprise but suspicion. He took a moment to read the file.

"This isn't public information…"

"It will be in 24 hours. So it's legal to give it to you."

"And it gives me a 24 hour edge if I decide to act on this information." Finally, Harvey sensed that he had Johnathon under his belt. He just hoped this worked.

"Which, as you can see from that file, would be a very profitable thing to do." Harvey smirked at the investment banker who looked more than pleased with what Harvey had offered.

"And all I have to do in return is use your law firm?" If only it were that simple, Harvey thought nonchalantly.

"Oh, I don't care what law firm you use. I just want you to let Mike Ross run head of the deal." Johnathon expression dropped quicker than lightning.

"Then we're back where we started. And you can get the hell out of my office." He sounded pissed now and Harvey struggled to keep him on his side.

"Johnathon. I know what he did. But he thought he had no choice." He added a hint of sincerity in his voice. Harvey had lost the essence of surprise now, but he could still do this.

Johnathon grimaced and scooted away from Harvey to drop the file in the bin besides his desk. "When a person thinks he has no choice is when you see his true character."

"You think you have no choice other than to be vindictive right now." The conversation was starting to get heated now. Harvey could feel the stubbornness radiating off the investment banker.

"This isn't vindictive. It's common sense. And where I come from, you don't give the fox another run at the henhouse."

"You wouldn't have even had a shot at the henhouse if it wasn't for him getting you out from under Tony Gianopolis." Harvey hated his own desperation. He wasnt used to feeling like this. Mike deserved this second chance. Come on Sidwell.

"And I repaid him for that by giving him his first shot at investment banking."

"And where I come from, the way you really repay someone is by giving them a second goddamn shot."

"Then go the hell back to where you came from." Johnathon's tone had a sense of finality to it and Harvey knew that the conversation was over. Even if he could think of something else to say, it wouldn't be worth it. Sidwell had made his case. But as the darker haired man sat back at his desk, he changed his expression slightly and added one last comment.

"And hey. If you think he's so great, take him right back there with you." Harvey's shoulders drooped and he strolled back out of the offices. If only he could. He really felt the need to hit something. He hated feeling this helpless. All he wanted was to be able to support his best friend and get Mike back on the right track. This is why he hated losing, because he hated feeling so shit afterwards. But he still had one more bullet in the gun and he knew exactly where to fire it.

-SUITS-

Rachel was sat in a seminar doing her very best to keep track of what was going on around her. The older professor man was rambling on about something to do with civil law but her mind just kept drifting to more significant aspects of her life.

She had barely slept the night previously. Everytime she closed her eyes, she was taken back to the other night; her mouth on Logans and she had to admit, it had been a good kiss. But she had never wished she could take something back more.

What was really tearing her apart was the length of it. She really shouldn't have let it go on that long. But it had been a really intense week and she knew with every bone in her body that there was no one she wanted to be with more than Mike.

Mike. He had been so torn up last night and she wished she had been able to stay with him today, she wished she'd been able to give him the support that he deserved. Rachel had been so close to telling him last night, but the words just hadn't formed properly. She had watched as he beat himself up and couldn't bring herself to knock him down as well.

But she would have to tell him at some point because she was starting to feel really worn out from the weight of the guilt she was carrying. More than once she had been scolded by Harvey or a teacher this week for not focusing properly. No, this couldn't go on. At the same time she realised that Donna may have been right. This was one of the worst times to tell him. She'd just have to wait it out and have hope that he'd find it within him to forgive her. She couldn't bear to think about losing him.

She was awoken by the movement of fellow students and realised that the session was over and was eager to get home and make sure Mike was alright. He hadn't replied to her text earlier and she had left before he woke up this morning. She had hoped that he had managed to sort something out today and told herself as she climbed into a cab that she would be there for him better tonight. This was what mattered now.

-SUITS-

Harvey had returned to the office and had attempted to get on with some actual work. He was gutted that he hadn't been successful at Sidwell's. But it had been a long shot. He felt his blood boiling with resentment. Why couldn't he just give Mike a job?

He'd worked his ass off for this firm, missing his last chance to see his Father before he died, given up so much and was now named partner. So, why couldn't he just hire the kid on the spot? He was way better than all the other associates in the ballpen anyway. Mike had also given his all to this company.

Harvey threw the file he was working on on the floor but it didn't make nearly enough noise to satisfy his anger and the adrenaline that it had fueled. However, it had got Donna's attention. The redhead strolled into his office with a stern expression on her face.

"What's the matter with you? You've been barely focused since you returned from Mike's. And I can see the tension in your shoulders."

Harvey sighed, "Donna…"

Donna could feel the combination of stress, helplessness and anger in Harvey's voice. She came up behind him then with a pitied expression and began rubbing his shoulders and massaging his back. Harvey instantly relaxed. He owed so much to this beautiful Women. She started bossing him around which was totally against the status quo but Harvey didn't mind so much because he ended up on the couch, a glass of half filled Scotch in his hand. He couldn't argue with Donna anyway, right? After all, he didn't like losing.

He downed the scotch way too quickly and felt the familiar burn of alcohol engulf his system. He was the great and powerful Harvey Specter. He could do anything. It made him laugh that those words were actually Mike's. Of course, he could do anything. He stood and poured himself another scotch and turned back towards Donna who was just about to leave his office.

"Donna, can you get Jessica in here?"

Donna's face instantly flickered with realisation. "No, Harvey. That's a bad idea."

He took another mouthful of scotch and did his best to make his face look serious. "It's not what you think, it's for a case."

Donna looked at him suspiciously and he couldn't help but look slightly amused. He smirked at her and continued to try to convince her. Harvey ambushed her with a load of words about legal technicalities that he didn't even fully grasp and she gave in relatively quickly so he sat back on the sofa and continued to drink the scotch, patiently awaiting the managing partner. He thought back to Johnathon's words, "If you think he's so great, take him right back there with you." He'd bring Mike back for sure.

It wasn't long later that she bossed straight into his office wearing a brilliant white dress and said, "You wanted to see me?"

"We can talk about it later.." Instantly Harvey realised this was a bad idea. He was already pouring his 3rd glass of scotch but still detected that Jessica was in a bad mood from her tone.

"I walked all the way down here, we can talk about it now."

"I was just going to ask how Louis' talk went?" Harvey recovered. But Jessica didn't buy it.

"Bullshit. That is not an 'I have to come talk to you' conversation." Harvey looked at Jessica dead in the eye and realised that she wasn't playing around. He'd have to just come out with it. He decided to stand in order to become more level with Jessica but she still towered over him with those heels. His confidence was dwindling and he was desperately trying to think of a way out of this.

After stalling, Harvey just came out with what he wanted to say. "I want to bring Mike back."

What surprised him was that Jessica began smiling and then laughing. "That is not a conversation I ever want to have."

"Jessica-"

"Harvey. I haven't slept better since his last night except for every night since. And I'm not going back." She made her point clear and Harvey knew this wasn't the time to argue.

"And incase you really were wondering, Louis took his thank you like a Dick. So, if that's all, I'm going home." Harvey let her leave, feeling worse than when he had started the conversation. Donna glared at him from her desk and then turned her back on him. He decided it was probably best to just go home too. Mike would have to figure something out soon.

A/N- Next chapter it should start getting exciting. As always, any comments welcome.:)


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N- Hey guys! Quick apology for the delay. I really hope that I have got this scene right, please let me know your thoughts good or bad :) Just a quick applause for such wonderful acting from Patrick J. Adams and Meghan Markle. We are so lucky to have such a talented team.**

 **Also, so excited to hear that production for Season 6 is underway, exciting stuff!**

Rachel returned to the apartment and braced herself before opening the door. But, she was surprised to find that as she dropped all of her things from law school in the entrance hall, her nose was invited by the beautiful smell of something Italian. Her stomach growled in response. What was Mike up too? She suddenly had a thought that maybe they had been broken into and the robber was cooking in their home.

"Hey!"

Her reverie was broken by the sound of Mike's voice and Rachel was surprised to find that he sounded much less broken than last night. In fact, if she had to describe it, she'd say he sounded optimistic. Maybe this wasn't going to be so bad after all.

"Hey, um, have you been cooking?" Rachel couldn't help her surprised tone as she made her way into the kitchen where Mike greeted her with a kiss. She also couldn't help her smirk when she saw Mike stood at the stove with a kitchen towel over his shoulder, stirring a pan of rich red bolognese sauce. It wasn't just Rachel's stomach that was hungry. She could get used to this house husband thing.

"I make one thing and one thing only." She giggled at his cockiness and tried not to sound too patronising.

"Mike. Every single guy thinks that his spaghetti sauce-"

But Mike cut Rachel off as he forced the spoon into her mouth and Rachel couldn't control her reaction.

"Oh my God, thats amazing." Those words didn't do it justice. Rachel prided herself with being a foody and had tried many different tomato based sauces but never had her mouth been attacked by such a wonderful blend of flavours. Mike could cook! Her mouth was watering and she craved more of the sauce instantly.

"Not every single guy was raised by his Grandmother." He gave Rachel a wink and then pulled her in for another peck.

"Now you, sit down, shut up and tell me about your day." He smirked at Rachel's confused expression as he gently tugged the love of his life to a chair and started pouring her a glass of wine.

"What got you in such a good mood?"

"Oh nothing, I just spent the afternoon figuring out what i wanted to do with my life."

"Well, that sounds like quite the afternoon. What did you figure out?" Rachel was so pleased that Mike was in a good mood. She had been so worried about him all day and he seemed so much more relaxed and happy now compared to the broken man that she had left this morning. It even pulled her thoughts away from Logan for the time being.

Mike poured himself some red wine and clinked his glass with Rachel's before taking a mouthful. He smiled at her again and was beyond happy that she had got home on time to hear the small speech he had been preparing all day.

"Well, I don't want to take the job with Forstman and I don't want to be an investment banker…"

He sat completely opposite Rachel now and grabbed her hand in a loose grasp. Their eyes met with his tender touch and he said, "But I know that I want to be with you."

Rachel smiled at Mike, his eyes were blazing with emotion and love and this is exactly what she adored about him. It filled her with this beautiful feeling inside which engulfed her body in warmth. She wanted to be with him forever. She returned his broad smile.

"What are you saying?"

"I wanna start over."

"I don't understand?" Rachel questioned.

"Rachel, when I met you I had nothing in my life except what came from being a fraud." Mike's voice was so endearing. Rachel couldn't help the love she felt for this wonderful human being.

"And now, I have nothing in it except being with you and I wouldn't go back, even if I could because-"

"Mike-" Rachel felt the tears brimming at her eyes. They were burning as was the rest of her body now. She was struggling to keep her emotions under control. Mike was laying his heart down for her and she couldn't take it. Not after what she had done.

"I don't care what I do for a living. I mean, I'll figure it out. But as long as I have you, I have everything."

Rachel felt awful, she could feel her resolve slowly slipping away as Mike finally looked up from the table and saw her discomfort. She saw his eyes change, still a brilliant blue but now filled with concern, worry. No way did she deserve him. He had always been the good guy and she had stabbed him in the back.

Mike was taken aback by Rachel's reaction. What had he said that could possibly make her cry? He reached his hand across the table to try and pull her into a hug or at least comfort her. But she blocked it.

"I didn't mean to make you cry, I meant to make you feel better." Mike was really worried now, Rachel was close to sobbing.

"Rachel, what's the matter?" He asked softly but with urgency.

"I'm sorry, I just need a minute."

This wasn't entirely what he had been expecting when Mike had declared his love for her in such a personal way with his entire heart up for grabs. He had felt so vulnerable but had gained strength from her. His insecure self started panicking. What if Rachel didn't love him back? What if she was so disgusted with what he had done to Sidwell? But he couldn't think about that now. His heart was breaking watching her break down in front of him. He rushed round to her side of the table.

"Hey, hey, hey, Rachel. I'm right here." Mike tried to keep his voice calm, reassuring.

"I just need a minute." She repeated through more tears.

"You can tell me. Whats going on?" Mike could feel his heart pounding. There was dread in his stomach but he wasn't sure why. He felt this overwhelming urge to grab Rachel and protect her. He would hurt anyone who made her break down like this and damn the consequences.

He reached up to brush her tears away and felt her shaking as she holted his hand.

"I can't."

"Rachel, stop, its ok, you can." Mike was really struggling now. He was trying to calm her down but was a right state himself. What was Rachel hiding from him?

"I don't deserve you." Mike grabbed at Rachel trying to pull her into his arms. He wanted nothing more than to run but knew that he couldn't leave her like this.

"Of course you do, Rachel. Look at me. Whats happening?"

Rachel removed her fingers for one second to blurt out, "Logan and I kissed."

Mike instantly backed away. He felt like his hands were on fire where he had touched her. At first all he felt was shock. Had he heard her right? Was this a dream?

"What?"

"We were just talking and then he.."

"He what?" Mike could now feel the rage burning inside him. Rachel was visibly sobbing, begging him to calm down but he couldn't hear anything. All he could picture was Logan's smug face pulling Rachel towards him. He closed his eyes but couldn't stop it from progressing. He knew he shouldn't have trusted them together.

He shook his head, trying to clear it but his body was bursting with energy. His vision was wavering now and time felt like it was continuous. He couldn't even look at Rachel, what had they done to him? He had given her his whole life and now she'd thrown it right back at him.

Rachel was trying to approach him wearily but he couldn't handle it. He knew that he wasn't in control and felt like his body was about to give in and collapse.

Mike physically couldn't breathe. He had backed into the living area but Rachel had followed him and he just couldn't stop picturing it. He bolted outside in an attempt to get some fresh air and put as much distance between them as possible. His fist were clenched and no matter how angry he was, he wasn't going to hurt Rachel. No, there was only one man who deserved that.

As he left, the last thing he heard was her broken voice pleading with him, "Mike please, it didn't mean anything.."

It only served to make Mike angrier.

-SUITS-

As he ran out of the apartment, he could feel the adrenaline coursing through his veins. After all he had gone through this week, he finally accepted that life was ok, so long as him and Rachel were still hand in hand. But now she'd dropped this bombshell and Mike had never felt more alone.

His anger was consumed by the tears about to fall from his eyes and he swallowed hard, breathing in deeply the dusk New York air. It only made him more mad that those tears were there. He'd always been a weak person, losing control of his emotions as soon as things got tough. And he hated that. Mike growled loudly, causing many people to turn and give him a filthy look. He swung his hand into a nearby lamppost and revelled in the pain that it bought. His every passing thought returned to the face of the man that had ruined his life for the second time this week.

A taxi pulled into sight and he told the man the address that he'd seen in a file a number of weeks previously. The taxi man gave him a look of suspicion but started driving and Mike forced himself to calm down before their arrival. He thought of calling Harvey but knew that would be a bad idea. Never had his thoughts been so muddled.

He felt relief when they pulled up and he'd paid the taxi driver. Mike was still burning hot and the taxi had been suffocating. But it had forced him to calm down and as he ran up the stairs, his thoughts were more rational. He'd decided to take the stairs, burn some energy.

Even though he didn't want to, he thought of Rachel's words earlier. " _We were just talking and he.."_

Mike knew that Logan was aware of his relationship with Rachel but the guy was a complete pig and would do anything to rub it in Mike's face. Rachel had told Mike that he had cheated on his own fiancée so he wouldn't put it past him.

As Mike approached the door, he was again struggling to keep down his anger. He banged on the door, covering the peephole so that Logan wouldn't know who was on the other side.

As soon as he'd gained entrance, Mike shoved Logan back and enjoyed the look of surprise on his face.

"This is how you handle losing?" Logan had that aggravating smirk on his face and Mike wanted nothing more than to knock it off.

"I'm not here about Gillis Industries," he went straight up to Logan's face now, challenging the slightly larger man to try something.

"What, are you going to fight me?"

"You stay the hell away from Rachel." Mike was shocked by the gruffness of his voice. He was almost shaking to keep his temper in check. He felt like he'd made his point and turned to leave before it got ugly.

"Well that's up to her. But if she does come back here, it won't be to tell me to stay away." Mike could feel the patronising tone of Logan's voice. He couldn't help his loathing of the man. His anger was too much now and he turned back with his fist clenched.

In that frozen second between stand off and fight, Mike watched as Logan's eyes flicker to the engagement ring he was still wearing. His face is unreadable, no fear, no invitational smirk now. But what pisses Mike off most, is the lack of remorse.

Without giving Logan a chance to respond, Mike swung at his face and connected devastatingly. He felt a crack and hated how it filled him with such joy. What had Logan turned him into?

But Logan recovered much quicker than he was expecting and Mike gripped him in a hold, trying to keep control. They were in a messy brawl now, throwing each other around and trying to catch the other one off guard. Mike was fighting on impulse and his instinct wasn't always the best. He just managed to block Logan's elbow as it slammed into Mike's ribs. Better than his face but still causing him to keel over in pain. He picked himself back up just as Logan fist connected with his jaw and another square in his nose.

But Mike was still reeling in his anger and the adrenaline was now soaring through his body. He ignored the taste of blood and managed to push Logan back and connect his own punch and then another in the other man's stomach. The groaning was almost satisfying. But just as he was starting to get the upper hand, Logan hit him again.

Mike spotted his chance with a semi glass table located conveniently behind Logan. He was suffering from that last punch and felt his vision beginning to blur but as Logan pushed his full weight towards Mike's stomach in a rugby tackle, Mike used his momentum to swing them both round and plant Logan directly in the centre of the table.

He hit the ground hard but heard a satisfying groan from Logan who was now planted across the floor, looking worse for wear. Mike quickly got to his feet, heading for the door. He felt almost ashamed now. The fight felt like it had lasted forever but it was in fact a matter of seconds. But now that it was over, Mike felt exhausted.

He turned to check on Logan, to ensure that he could leave him and saw the other man looking up at him too. He was breathing heavily, clutching at his own ribs and although Mike was feeling slightly less angry, he did feel some form of sympathy. This lost its touch when Logan started speaking.

"I dont know what she said to you, but she let it go on a long time."

Mike turned on his heel, quickly, not wanting himself to get worked up again. He fleed but not before Logan really managed to get under his skin.

"And she didn't just like it, she _loved_ it."

Mike would never forget the sound of his cackling laugh, almost like a witch. But he continued his walk, masking his anger and aggravation. As far as Mike was concerned, he had the upper hand following that fight and he didn't want to give Logan the satisfaction of bringing him back down.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N- Thank you to the wonderful people who have left reviews, I was really nervous about that chapter.**

Rachel found herself flinching as the door slammed. She could do nothing but watch as Mike left her alone in what was supposed to be their apartment. The sobs now racked her body and she placed her hands over her mouth, trying to conceal them.

She pondered of following him, running after him and fighting for his forgiveness like they did in the movies but she knew that was a bad idea. Mike was obviously more than shocked by her revelation and she knew that the best idea was to give him space at the moment.

The walls weren't closing in, almost the opposite in fact. Rachel looked around and felt like everything was too far away. It was too big in here without Mike and she suddenly felt very afraid. She was attempting to calm herself to focus on nothing but breathing evenly, stopping the tears and shaky breaths that kept escaping. But she couldn't help thinking of what had happened. The one thought that wouldn't escape her mind was the idea that Mike had left and was never coming back.

They had fought so hard to be together, and it had been a bumpy road. Finally they were beginning to settle in together and Rachel's hope for their future was strong. They'd always been a very romantic couple, going out for dinners, buying each other gifts and having cute little picnics on the living room floor by candle light. They were firmly in that honeymoon stage at the start of the relationship where almost everything was cute, cuddly and fluffy. Of course, they'd had the odd argument or disagreement as they were both very passionate people but had always managed to come to terms afterwards. Rachel found herself wondering if she had ruined it all. Even if Mike somehow managed to forgive her, would they ever be able to truly go back?

This thought was what drove her beyond control and she collapsed into the Sofa, clutching a cushion for comfort. She lied like that, her mind now blank, just focusing on this moment and now. She had no idea how much time had passed when the tears finally stopped. It could have been a few minutes or hours.

When Rachel lifted her head, the brightness of the lights overthrew her and she had to squint her bulging eyes. She still felt so alone and afraid and wanted nothing more than to go to her Mother and share a moment with her. But she still was horrified by her actions this past week, and couldn't take anyone else's disappointment in her. Especially not her parents who she without a doubt respected and admired more than anyone. She wondered for a moment where Mike was and was horrified of the thought that he could still be out on the streets somewhere.

Rachel had never observed so much anger in the normally sweet and innocent looking young man but Mike had been physically enraged when he had left. If the moment hadn't been so upsetting, she might have been frightened of Mike. She almost wished that Mike had hit her and relinquished some of the guilt currently tearing her apart.

Rachel had never realised that a feeling arising from her conscious mind could actually cause her to feel pain but this guilt was physically as well as mentally destroying her. There was nothing she wanted more than to erase these past few weeks and do it properly, not getting involved in the case with Mike at all. She was mortified every time she thought of the altercation that had occurred with Logan just a week previously and seeing as the event had barely left her mind, this had left her feeling very helpless and timid.

It took all of Rachel's remaining reserve of strength to pull herself up off the sofa. She was starting to really hate being here, alone with her thoughts and needed to go see someone who would understand and not place judgement but would also make sense of the situation. Rachel dragged her hands through her hair, realising how much of a state she was in. Taking a few calming breaths, she followed Mike's footsteps from earlier out of the apartment and into the rain that had started to fall.

She walked to Donna's, in no real state to socialise with a cab driver and wanting to clear her head. It was almost cleansing, standing outside for a final moment, the rain running of her face, hopefully dragging her sins away too. As she approached Donna's door, Rachel felt degraded. A rush of embarrassment passed through her body as Donna scanned her, trying to assess what had happened.

"You told him." Donna stated. It hadn't taken her long but she had been expecting a visit like this from Rachel for a while now.

Rachel broke their eye contact, a twitch displaying her self-depreciation. She felt exposed to the world and very insecure in front of Donna despite the older Women's sympathising tone.

"I don't even know where he is," Rachel said. Her worry for Mike was still prominent. If anything happened to him tonight she would never forgive herself.

"He's at Harvey's." Donna said as a matter of fact.

"How do you know?"

"Where did you go?" And Rachel felt relieved to know that Mike had somewhere safe to go. But at the same time, she dreaded the thought of him telling her boss of her actions. Would Harvey treat her differently now?

Donna guided her into the apartment and she contended with her ability to not cry. She had to try and keep it together now and figure out what was the best thing to do.

Mike was fuming as he stumbled down the street. It was raining now and he absorbed the calling and calming nature of it. Sitting under an abandoned bus shelter, he nursed his broken body. He was aware that nothing was seriously injured, just some bruising that was beginning to be a discomfort. Now that the adrenaline had stopped he had become aware of the pain.

He was cold and couldn't control the shivering. What the hell was Logan playing at? He had nothing else to win off Mike, except of course, Rachel. Maybe that was his game? Mike wanted some advice and knew there was only one man he could go to for that.

Harvey's condo wasn't far away but Mike managed to hail a cab as his head was really bothering him. He'd read a leaflet whilst in the hospital with Grammy once about the symptoms of concussion. That was all that Mike needed on top of everything else. He fought down the sickened feeling in his stomach as he walked into Harvey's building.

He once thought the idea of turning up at Harvey's after a fight would be cool and deemed respectable. But, under the circumstances he couldn't help feeling embarrassed. He was in no mood for pity.

The night security team were aware of who Mike was. They gave him a pointed look as he entered the complex. Obviously his face looked as battered as it felt. But he nodded at them to indicate that he was ok and took the lift to Harvey's floor.

He felt exhausted as he knocked and waited, leaning against the wall to take some of the tension off his bruised ribs. Mike had never been the one for physical confrontation. He allowed bullies to walk all over him to avoid this at school, knowing that he wasn't the build for it. Of course, he outsmarted everyone and wasn't afraid to speak out with his opinions. But he never invited violence.

He looked up when the door clicked, unlocking. It took a moment for Harvey to register Mike in front of him and the state that he was in, but when he did, his stomach dropped.

"Forstman?"

But Mike shook his head. "Logan."

Harvey sighed, "Gillis."

Mike dropped his eyes, obviously fighting the response. He shook his head again and grunted, "Rachel."

"Get the hell in here."

Harvey went straight to the Kitchen, pouring them both a generous amount of scotch which he passed to Mike. In the light, he realised the extent of Mike's damages. There was blood coming from both his nose and his lip and his eye was half shut. That was going to be a shiner in the morning.

As he went to collect the first aid kit from the bathroom, Mike briefly recalled the events of the past evening. He was really worked up and Harvey was struggling to keep his own cool. How had he not seen this coming? It shouldn't have come to this. And he should have been there to protect Mike.

Once finished, they retreated to the living area and Mike grabbed some frozen peas to place on his face and head. It was obviously bothering him and Harvey was worried. Maybe they should go to the hospital and get him checked out? But he knew that Mike was in no mood to be sitting around waiting all night. Harvey could feel the nervous energy radiating off him. Just as the kid was starting to pick himself back up, he'd been whacked back down again.

"I'm not going back there," Mike said defiantly as he reentered the living room.

"I'm not saying you have to, I'm saying you need to calm down." As much as Harvey was feeling annoyed, Mike was visibly pissed off and he needed to relax him before he did anything stupid and irrational.

"Would you calm down after someone stuck it in your face like that?" Mike had a point. Harvey handed him another scotch.

"I would if I knew he was just trying to get in my head."

"How the hell do you know that that is all it is?" Mike was pacing the room. If Harvey had a carpet, hed be worried about it. He was pointing and ranting. Harvey had never seen him so worked up about something like this.

"Because that piece of shit did it to you before. And I let him because I was his lawyer. But I'm not going to let him do it to you now." There it was again. That protective instinct. And it filled Harvey with both a happy and sad feeling. He liked his friendship with Mike, but it made him feel so much more vulnerable. Because he feels responsible. And if anything happens to the kid, it destroys him too. Thats why he had always remained unattatched.

"Yeah, well, he got in my head! He put the image in there and now I can't get it out."

"Mike."

"Look, I need to know if its true." Mike's soft and vulnerable pose reminded Harvey of Marcus when he was younger, about to burst into tears. Marcus would know what to do and say in this situation. Harvey had always been the fighter and never had time for sympathising.

"And what good is going to come of that?"

"I just need to know."

"Then there is only one way to find out. But you're not going to find out tonight." He approached Mike and handed him another drink, noting that the kid owed him another bottle of scotch. Mike had given in now and took a deep breath. All the tension released from him and he looked exhausted. There was no way Harvey was letting him go home tonight.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N - Okay, so first off, I want to make the biggest and sincerest apology ever. I started this fic with the best of intentions but have just gone through one of the most intense exam periods of my life which meant I had to focus on other things for a bit. I now have a free summer and I really would love to carry it on, if you're all still interested? Can't wait for the start of the series next week. It's so exciting.**

Rachel had always found that the inside of Donna's apartment was very comforting and homely. The walls were a calming cream colour with canvases displaying bright artwork of which matched Donna's vibrant and ecstatic personality. It suited the redhead wonderfully. That night, candles were lit on the fireplace, giving a sense of warmth and filling the flat with a beautiful aroma of clean laundry.

Rachel still felt the tension from the night's events but was beginning to relax from her earlier state. As she entered, Donna put a supportive arm around her best friend and guided her in. Rachel appreciated the feeling that she was not alone.

They sat together on the leather sofa facing each other and Rachel described what had happened. She just managed to keep herself together as Donna passed her a glass of Wine.

When Rachel had finished, there was a comfortable silence in which they pondered what to say. Her thoughts began to turn darker. She felt a rise of panic again. What if Mike didn't come back?

"I never should have told him." She had to discuss this with Donna. Donna knew everything.

"Rachel, there is no use thinking that." She gave Rachel a warm smile but there was still doubt and pity in the auburns expression.

"What if he doesn't forgive me?" Rachel fought to keep herself in check. She couldn't handle anymore crying this evening.

"You don't know that he won't."

"You don't know that he will. And you're the one that said it will bore a hole in his head." She referred to their previous conversation. Maybe she should have listened to Donna. This evening was the worst time to tell Mike about what had happened but she hadn't been able to hide it any longer.

"And you're the one that said you should trust him with the truth anyway." Rachel was too exhausted to argue. Her brain was bubbling with worry and anxiety. She really didn't want to be left alone with her thoughts when they were so irrational.

"He walked out! I can't just…" Donna cut her off.

"Stay here the night? Course you can." Rachel smiled at her friend, trying to express her gratitude. Donna pulled Rachel into a hug, and they settled in for the night together. There was nothing more that Rachel could do about it now. She told Mike, nothing would change that. And it actually filled her with some relief to know that part of the guilt was gone. That it was out there.

"Rachel, listen to me." Donna's voice was both firm and soft at the same time. Rachel was absorbed in her warm hazel eyes. They relayed the seriousness of the situation.

"Mike loves you. Thats obvious. And you love him. That is also obvious. He'd be silly to throw this away over something as stupid as a kiss. You just have to give him the time to recognise that." And with Donna's words, Rachel finally felt at peace with her decision.

-SUITS-

Harvey and Mike spent a relaxing evening in. It was already late when Mike had turned up at the apartment and they had taken a while to explain what had happened and to calm down/sort Mike's injuries out.

Once the rush was over, a growl from Mike's abdomen reminded him that he had not got round to eating dinner that evening. Harvey insisted on ordering them both a pizza as he hadn't long been in since a meeting with a client. Instead of using up all of Harvey's scotch collection, Mike grabbed a couple of beers from the fridge and they settled down to watch 'the Shawshank Redemption' which was being broadcast on TV.

Harvey set up the bed in his spare room that doubled as a study area for Mike and lent him some clothes to sleep in. One was an old Harvard hoodie incase he got cold and Mike had made the most of statements regarding the irony behind this.

Although they were both joking and laughing, Harvey had realised that Mike wasn't quite himself. His usual carefree smirk was tighter and more forced and all the jokes he made seemed fake in an effort to keep upbeat. Also, he had noticed that Mike kept clutching his head when he moved too quickly and he forced some more painkillers down the kids throat before they both headed to bed. Harvey made a note to check up on him before he left early for work in the morning. He was worried about the kid, almost as it he was a little brother. He felt awful that he hadnt been there to protect Mike and was just hoping that Logan had come out of it worse off.

Mike couldn't sleep. He checked his phone for the millionth time at around 3am and had 5 missed calls from Rachel. But there was no way he could rationally talk to her at this present time. He tossed and turned all night, feeling bruised and sore but still triumphant that he had gotten the better of Logan. Everytime he shut his eyes, his imagination run away with images of the dirty rat and Rachel kissing, engulfed in each others arms.

What was it he had said to Mike? "she didn't just like it, she loved it." Was it just a taunt or did Rachel actually love it? There was no way he could just let this go. He would have to find out in the morning.

He was still awake when the light started filtering through into Harvey's spare bedroom and the city started buzzing with noise. He lied for a moment, pondering what to do with the day. He was terrified at the thought of talking to Rachel; something that would either make or break their relationship. She had told him that it didn't mean anything but he had a really bad feeling about the whole situation. If the worst happened, how long would Harvey let him stay here? He couldn't go back to their apartment, it would be too difficult to leave again and would bring back too many unwanted memories.

His busy and tired mind finally gave way to sleep and he dozed off for about an hour before he was awoken by the sound of Harvey's alarm in the other room. Mike pulled the pillow over his head wanting to go back to sleep and escape the world for a few more hours but he was reawaken by the sound of Harvey entering his room.

"How you feeling?" Harvey left some painkillers and water on the side and Mike sat up to take them. Did he sense sincerity underlying Harvey's gruff morning voice?

"I'm fine," Mike lied.

"Ohh really? You look like you've been run over by a bus. Actually, scratch that. More like an 18 wheeler."

Harvey laughed at Mike's pout.

"I'm just getting in the shower and then heading out to work. By all means, go back to sleep. You're going to need the beauty with that shiner." Harvey pointed at Mike's eye and smirked but Mike could sense the tension behind it. Harvey was visibly angered.

His tone changed and he smiled at Mike's sleep deprived shape. "I'll leave a spare key on the table." He whispered before heading towards the bathroom and leaving the kid in peace.

Mike rolled back over but didn't go back to sleep. He pulled himself out of bed with some minor aches and got changed. When he turned to face the mirror, he realised what Harvey was talking about. His face had looked bad last night and although his nose had healed nicely, he was still left with a mixture of blue, black and yellow on his left eyelid and a small cut on his forehead. He groaned at the time (6:30am) and then went to make some coffee.

When Harvey reappeared, fully dressed in a three-piece suit and tie, he handed him a coffee and some cereal. Harvey cocked his eyebrow at him.

"What are you doing up?"

Mike smirked, "I could say the same to you, when are you ever on time for work?"

"I have an important case going on lately. Need to keep up together with it, especially as _Louis_ is partnering with me." He made a face of disgust.

"Awe, you miss me." Mike laughed nonchantly at Harvey's face. "You mind if I catch a lift you a Ray?" He stopped laughing and looked away at Harvey's questioning expression.

"I need to sort some things out," Mike said under his breath.

 **Comments and reviews are all welcome, good or bad. This is my first official fiction and I really would love to hear your thoughts on the story and where to go. Hope you're all well, will definitely be updating soon:)**


End file.
